Thursday, August 21, 2014

So the Endo Continues to Give

Today was my follow up appointment with my OB/GYN that did my hysterectomy after I gave birth 6 weeks ago.  All is not well.

He has now referred me to the oncologist for gynecology.  He has also told me that I'll be needing more surgery soon and that the oncologist will most likely be doing the surgery robotic style.  Is that a good thing?  I wonder.  But I'll be getting more information as soon as I get a call back from my new doctors at Internal Medicine.

Tricare has deemed it necessary to send me to Internal Medicine for my primary care and not a general practitioner.  I should have realized it would happen sooner or later.  I'll also be needing to see someone for pain management but I was told at Internal Medicine that they only see active duty in their clinic for pain management and that I'll be referred out.  Endometriosis just keeps on giving!

During my exam today the pain was bad when the doctor palpated my pelvic region.  He said it is healing well.  Okay but the pain just sucks.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Monday, August 18, 2014

So Not Doing That DRUG

I'm sorry to say but I'm quitting.  Screw breastfeeding; oh wait baby girl can't breast feed on my nipples anyway.  What I'm actually saying screw it to is the milking.  I'm so not taking domperidone.

Nope not doing it.  I value what little health I have left.  I have IBD and I can only imagine what it would do to my bowels.

I get migraines...I don't want to be in such pain I can't even care for my kid.

Many of you know that I don't respond well to hormones and most drugs with side effects that can be bad; well somehow I end up really sick from them.  I can't even use band-aids without either breaking out or blistering from the adhesive.  Sometimes I even lose layers of skin from the adhesives they use in the hospital to cover the iv lines.  Yeah I have two scars from the adhesives they used on me during the week in the hospital last month.

I'm done.  I'm going to bring back the pump rental this week.  I'm not going to ask my doctor for the pills either.

I have heart issues, blood pressure issues, migraines, fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease (back and neck),  herniated disc in the back and neck, and the list goes on.  Yeah don't need any more issues especially since J is due to deploy here shortly for unknown period of time.  I need to be healthy for my baby girl.  She is doing just fine on formula.

My pump rental is only month-to-month and that first month is expiring in a few days.  I'll be returning my pump this week.

I have a manual pump of which I can use to express my milk IF I FEEL up to continuing to express the milk.

I have had no extra milk production from the fenugreek capsules, the lactation cookies or the milkmaid tea.  So I won't be purchasing more of these.  Why waste my money?

Friday, August 15, 2014

This Is All I Get

Hey Folks,
I appreciate all the information that you have sent my way when it comes to breast feeding and pumping.  I do pump on a regular basis.  I don't get a lot.  As a matter of fact I'm going to take a photo of my pumping session to show all of you just how much I get.  First I have a few minutes to type a bit before I start my pumping so I wanted to let all of you know about how things are going thus far.

My brain is fried.

I wake up with a headache.

I'm up to all hours of the night with Little E.  She is worth it.  I'm trying to read to her, read another book for myself of which I'll post a blog entry on later this month for my book club, catch up on the computer and twice a month do the billing I used to do.  Eventually I'll open up my Etsy shop again, however, I can't see that happening until early next year.

Right now I'm lucky if I can finish my cup of milkmaid tea in just one reheating of it.  Oh wait that isn't going to happen again today.  But it is all worth it and I will get used to lukewarm tea, very little nutritious food since it is grab and go at this point, and hopefully one shower a week.  I can deal with going around in work out clothes in the house and uncombed hair.  The fingernails are horrid with ragged cuticles.  Again I say it is all worth it.  I did plenty of sacrificing to get this baby and I'm willing to give up more.  I just need to simplify my life.  Little E's colic is just a stage along with her day/night confusion.  It will pass.

Okay I've finished pumping.  I pump for 15 minutes and this is all I ever get:
Now can you see why I'm frustrated?  I take the fenugreek capsules 2 at a time 3 times a day as prescribed by my physician.  I drink the milkmaid tea.  I eat more than 2 of the lactation cookies a day, heck sometimes 4 of them a day or more and I wonder why I've gained weight back.

Folks if my doctor decides that the domperidone isn't going to help me I'm done.  I won't beat my boobs up any longer trying to produce milk.  I pump enough each day that the nipple hurt.  I would post a photo of my nipples for all of you but I'm not going to flash my ta-tas to the world like it was Mardi Gras.  You'll just have to take my word for it that my nipples are too big to nurse my baby, the areolas won't fit in her mouth with the big nipples and the nipples love to go flat quickly.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Growing Like a Weed

Little E is 5 weeks old today.

Last night we had to move her to her crib because she likes to sleep like a starfish and can't do that in the bassinet.  Mind you I was quite anxious to be having her sleeping in her crib for the first time.  I know that the crib is set to high standards but those slats seem to be too far apart for my liking.  I checked them and they are just fine, it is just me being an over protective mom.

I still can't nurse Little E.  I'm still not producing enough milk to make continuing on like this worth my time or the frustration and depression.  On the 21st I have my follow up with the OB.  I'm going to ask him about domperidone and if it will help the situation.  I might just have insufficient glandular tissue  (IGT).  I've been using the breast pump, Medela hospital rental, since July 23rd and the milk supply is no greater than when I used my manual pump.  The only thing that has increased is my frustration with myself.

You see PCOS, of which I had, and other endocrine disorders can cause a woman to have less breast milk production and even have the IGT issue.  I might just be one of them.  So I shouldn't be too hard on myself but I am.

I'm still loading up a box of Little E's newborn clothing to donate to the hospital's social services department.  They will make sure it goes to a needy family in the pay grades of E1-E4.  I also posted Little E's bassinet on a facebook group today.  I listed it as free with the three sheets.  I bought it used and didn't pay much for it.  No less than four people jumped on the offer right away.  The first person decided they couldn't pick it up.  I moved on to the second one and am now waiting for her spouse to come by after work to get it.  As Little E grows out of more of her things I'll be giving those away too.  I still have to find a person that would like the maternity clothing I had.  I even have a maternity swimsuit that I never wore that is in the box too.  There are times I'd like to get rid of everything in the house and live smaller and more simply; that will never happen.


Thursday, August 7, 2014

Growth Spurt

Little E will be a month tomorrow.  I can't believe it but it is true.

She has had another growth spurt.

As of this morning, J and I weighed her and checked her length, she is now 20 inches long and weighs 9 pounds 3 ounces!

She can now hold her own bottle.

She can roll freely to each side but not quite roll over entirely yet.  She is getting there.  I did it at 1 month 3 days and 1 month 4 days as recorded by my mom.

She smiles.

She chuckles...not a giggle and the chuckle is a deep one that is a bit scary like she is up to no darn good.  I can see we are going to have our hands full with this little princess.

Her eyes have lightened up and so far are the same shade of blue as J's eyes with the same white radiating out from the pupils too.


Sunday, August 3, 2014

Nanny Cat

Bugsy is doing a wonderful job at watching the baby along with J and I.

Examples of Bugsy going above and beyond the normal life of a cat:

Today he meowed like he was in pain to alert us that Little E had just had a really bad sneeze and pushed out the rest of snot I couldn't remove with the Nose Frida.  Mind you the saline drops and Nose Frida did a really good job but this snot must have come from deep within.

The other night he jumped off our bed and ran the short distance to the nursery when he heard Little E having a bad colic episode.  She did a big poop and it was contained but barely.  Thankfully Bugsy alerted us in time to avoid a blow out.

Two days ago Bugsy was fussing over the baby knowing her colic must be hurting her.  He got up on his hind legs and pressed his face against the screen mesh of the 4Moms Breeze playard.  Yes he is just that worried about his little sister.

Bugsy is a wonderful cat, great companion and puts all those myths about cats causing suffocation to an end in my book.  He hasn't jumped in either bassinet or her crib.  He hasn't swatted at her.  He hasn't tried to bite her.  We've introduced her to him and they are friendly.  Yes, even with her flailing arms he won't take objection to her and try to harm her.

Each of his good reactions to her gets him a treat.  Maybe the positive re-enforcement is also working?

It just boggles my mind why anyone would abandon Bugsy.  I can understand his first owner giving him up for adoption because her twins were allergic but the second and third owners just neglecting him and kicking him out really pisses me off.  From what I've read on his paperwork from his first owner he was also abandoned as a kitten.

Bugsy has a lot of love to give to his little sister and I love him for wanting to continue to be part of our family.  I can't picture our family without him being part of it.

Thank you Bugsy!