Weekend Survival

I feel like a slow moving fish.
Everything I do has to be slow right now.
No fast getting up.
No fast walking.


I'm just a bored person that feels like I'm a fish on exhibit.

I move around inside the house from bed to chair to chair to chair to bed.  I'm going to go nuts with 3 more weeks of this.

Come Monday if the cyst hasn't gone down a significant amount I'm going to ask if he wants to still do surgery.  I'm sick of being in pain.

Poke, Prod, Pain

So I got up early this morning and gave myself the shot of Ganirelix.  Two more days of that shot.  I didn't eat.  I wasn't allowed to eat. 

Next off to the lab for the blood draw.  I wore a black t-shirt I bought in Forks, WA.  Its a happy face with vampire teeth.  Yes, the lab techs loved it!

Off to ultrasound for an abdominal ultrasound.  I'll find out what my asinine PCM has to say about the results. Marla, a really nice ultrasound tech, told me my gall bladder and pancreas were fine. She took a look at the area of pain on the left where the kidney sits and told me I need to follow up with the PCM.  That is where she wouldn't tell me what is wrong.  I asked her what is over there and she said spleen and left kidney.  Okay now what the hell is wrong with me?  I swear if its not one thing its another.  I need more chewing gum and glue to hole me together because the duct tape is obviously peeling off.

Finally my appointment time for REI arrives.  I get in there and get stuck with Nurse J.  Lt.Col. B. is out of town for the day so I'm stuck with none to gentle with the probe Dr. B.  (he is a major).

E2 is down from 500 to the 160's he said.  He won't give me exact numbers on anything nor show me the screen.  He printed out the picture of the cyst and I demanded to see it.  I saw the numbers.  Its not shrinking.  But the good news is that the E2 is down. So the shots are sort of working.

Dr. B. said another 2-3 weeks of bed rest.  Ugh!

He also said that it could still twist at that size or even grow more and I'm to go to the ER if I'm in bad pain.

He also informed me and my spouse if it doesn't start to shrink soon that they are going to have to go in and surgically remove the cyst.  Oh and he didn't think that Monday's follow up plan with Lt.Col.B. was necessary.  I beg to differ.  I told him I was keeping that appointment as I was told it was necessary.

Dr.B. is on my crap list today.  He didn't have to hurt me with the probe. 

Oh on June 6th I'll be running a contest to give away a prize.  Look for the post on that day and sign up for a chance to win.

Reproductive Organ Transfer

As I was in the shower this morning, I have my best thoughts there it seems, I came up with an odd thought or two. 

What if the people that were undergoing transgender surgery wanted to donate their reproductive organs to others going through the same surgery?

I'm an organ donor on my license and military ID card.  If I were to die I would donate any viable organs.  I wondered what if on this one too.  What if another person were to die and offered the same?  Would they take the reproductive organs and donate them to others that need them?

Think about it.  Its more than just for reproduction.  The reproductive organs produce some hormones that can help ward off other issues in the body.  Yes we all realize that they can also cause major problems.  But osteoporosis is one thing that women take hormone replacement therapy for prevention of.  What if we could just transplant the ovaries of a younger female into the menopausal female so they don't run the risk of other associated cancers by using the synthetic drugs?

 If someone had to have a radical hysterectomy at a young age they could have the chance to bear children if transplants were available. 

Or maybe if someone that doesn't want children could just donate their ovaries? 

I know from my bio ethic class in college that there are problems with these theories.  But what if?

How would you feel about accepting that particular gift of life?  It would be a gift of life truly because as we all know non functional ovaries can't bring forth life.  Egg donation seems to be our only option now with that respect to the bad ovaries.

Sorry for the weird thoughts if I offended anyone.  This is just my mind wandering while in the shower again.

On another note.  Still in pain.  Really bad pain last night.  I took it easy when I got home yesterday.  We'll see what the scan shows tomorrow and hope for the best.   I'm trying to give the medicine a chance and I'll push through the pain.  Oh and being a guinea pig for this experiment isn't too bad.  Lt.Col.B. was discussing my case at a conference last week when they came up with the idea of the injections.  I can't do birth control pills because they cause migraines and mood swings and well in general don't work on shrinking my cysts if last year is any proof to that trial and error.  Lt.Col.B. graduated from Stanford with his medical degree.  I guess that is a good place. 

Surgery Avoided So Far

Well okay things are on hold.  I made that choice.  I had three options after what Lt.Col.B. found today. 

1) Surgery for tomorrow which is still an option if things get worse tonight pain wise.

2) He could drain the cyst in the office.

3) Ganirelix Acetate Injection to combat the estrogen.  I'd be a guinea pig for them and if it worked I'd set a new precedent he said for treatment.

I opted for #3 for right now. 

Friday I go back to the REI clinic at Madigan and will be seen by Dr. B as Lt.Col.B is out for the day doing training.  I will also finally have my full abdominal ultrasound that Gastroenterology ordered for me back in April on the same day.  More lab work for the REI clinic and hopefully some answers.

If the non functional estrogen producing cyst is shrinking I'll be able to put off surgery for a while.  Lt.Col. B. is hopeful but he said it could go either way.    He is still thinking that I'll need surgery but is happy that I'm willing to give hormone therapy a go too.

Maybe I'm a fool?  Have any of you ever used ganirelix before?  If so what are the side effects your experienced.

The clinic had on hand three of the shots and ordered five more with only a small co pay on my part.  Probably less than $20 for all 5 is their guess.  When they arrive I get to keep two and give them back the three that they gave me to use.  I guess that is fair enough.

I administered the first of the shots myself when I got home.  Its a walk in the park after IVF.

E2 level was down to 500 from the 624 the other day.  Remember this is CD34 for me.
Progesterone, LH and FSH were almost non existent he said.  Oh joy!  Lt.Col. B. said my hormones are messed up.  Oh and no these shots won't get my period started either.  I'll still have to wait for that one.  UGH!!!

So that is where I stand.  I might still need surgery tomorrow or next Thursday.  They only do surgery on Thursdays for non emergency.  I'll know more as the hours pass into days.

The pain level just sucks.  I'm still on modified bed rest.  Stupid me decided to try gardening yesterday.  I thought I was going to pass out from the pain of being in a squat position and bent over to transplant flowers from one garden bed to the other one.  Someone slap me if they see me doing that again while I'm supposed to be resting!!

Oh and no the cyst is still 7 x 6.7 cm.  No growth thankfully but he said the cyst did twist a  little with the gardening blunder.  But the blood flow is still good.

Waiting Sucks

I called my RE's office this morning to report that AF has not shown up and I'll be needing that shot.  I also will be needing another pelvic scan as the pain is pretty intense this morning.  Now I just have to wait for them to call me back as I got their answering machine.  Its been almost an hour so I think I'll be the one calling them instead.

If I have to get blood work today I need this show to get on the road like now.  I realize that because of the four day weekend that the answering machine is probably going to quite full of messages.  I just hope that eventually I'll get called.

I need to know if I'll have to go through surgery on Thursday.  I know that Lt.Col. B made sure that I understood that I had to call his office back today either way.  I tried.  I'll try again soon and I guess I'll keep trying today until I get a live voice.  I might just have to drive over there when I get in touch with J today to see someone since the phones are going to be quite busy.  I would walk but I'm in too much pain for that little one mile hike.

Sorry if this post is kind of garbled.  I did say I was in pain.  We all know what pain does to the brain.  I'm just wondering if the cyst ruptured or what.  I feel like a wuss if it did indeed rupture but I do recall that the residual pain of healing will last approximately two weeks.  Which is probably the reason why I still have pain on the right side and that particular cyst ruptured last week.

Memorial Day

Let us not forget the reason for this holiday weekend.  Remember those that gave their all to defend our freedom!

Company Coming Over

J and I agreed to invite a soldier friend of his over tonight for some grilling.  They guy is legally separated and on his way to a divorce.  Rather sad to be alone on the holidays I think.  So I have no problem with having him over today.

J gave me a condition though, I'm not to do anything today.  Glad he said today because last night right in front of him I made a huge bowl of pasta salad including making the mayo and oil dressing from scratch.  Tasty if I do say so.  Don't worry its no longer raw egg, I made it on the stove top to make sure it came to a boil first and added all the ingredients to it making a cooked dressing.  It shouldn't make anyone sick.

I'll be sticking to my freezer diet food today even while they enjoy the grilling.  I have to.  I'm not active enough to be eating high fat, high sodium barbeque food.  The two athletes can eat it instead.

Yes, J is an athlete.  He can run 14 miles in a day easily and still go to work after and come home.  He's done it before for the "Walk To Afghanistan" they set up monthly.  J and all the other soldiers are required to run as much as they can during the allotted time period.  So yes he can enjoy all the calories he wants when he is working out.

I hope every one has a safe weekend.  Tomorrow is the day we celebrate Memorial Day but officially it is 30 May for the Memorial Day.  I'm not sure why we celebrate it on the last Monday in May when it has it's on particular day.  I guess its for those that are looking forward to the long weekends.

If you get the chance stop by your local cemetery and place an American flag on the grave of a US veteran.   I used to do this every year myself in the family cemetery and in the church cemeteries where my kin folk are buried.  It doesn't hurt to place one on a stranger's grave either if you don't have a family member that served and is buried nearby.