Monday, May 18, 2015

Four and a Half Months After Surgery

and I'm still having pain.

No bleeding but I'm still having pain.  It is rather uncomfortable to say the least.  Sex wasn't always fun with the endometriosis but I wanted it.  I still want it but now when I have an O there is stabbing pain radiating through the pelvis with the O.  When I asked the oncologist about that particular issue last month they said it might go away or it might always be there because of the extensive damage to my pelvic region from the endometriosis and surgery.  The round ligament has been cut through so many times I will never have a flat stomach now.

Now that the adhesions have been removed from the bowels I am at the other end of the IBS with the diarrhea where before I used to be constipated.

Even though I'm no longer bleeding and no longer have the reproductive organs Endometriosis has left terrible scars behind.  Scars upon my body and mind.  Scars on my mind because of the lost pregnancies.  Scars on my body from the surgeries.

The left uppermost scar where they inserted all the equipment in the last surgery sits just below my floating ribs.  When I bend over the scar tissue likes to slip under the ribs and gets caught there causing pain until I can massage and pull it back out.  Not fun.

Last post I forgot to mention what J got me for Mother's Day as a gift.  I asked him to make a donation to an animal shelter for cats for me.  He did.  He told me how much and what in the card he gave me on Mother's Day.  He is so sweet.  I have my family and Bugsy means so very much to me.  I really hate thinking about the time he spent as a stray.  I want to give back when we can and why not with a gift this way.  I don't need more material possessions.

Friday, May 15, 2015

10 months and an Over Due Update

So 10 months has zoomed by.  I missed posting last week because my mother was visiting.

Eily has gained a pound and grew another 1/2 inch.  She is now almost 21 lbs and even closer to the 30 inches in height shy by just 1/4 inch.

She is such a cute little stinker.  Yesterday I came back into the room where I had her in her playpen to find her laying down on her stomach.  I asked her what was wrong.  She said, "I pooped".  Sure enough she had and off we went to change her diaper.

The visit with my mother went well enough.  She didn't hold Eily much.   She only picked her up once of her own accord.  She held her one other time to have her picture taken with her.  I asked her if she wanted to feed her and she responded that she had taken care of enough babies in her lifetime.  Sighs...oh well.  Mom never did want children.  I mean she is happy to have adult children now but she didn't really want us.  Children were something she was expected to have much the way a women is expected to have say a purse or a pair of earrings

Mother's Day was okay.  I washed my mom's laundry, dried it and folded it for her.  I made sure she had everything she needed.  I baked her a cake, I cooked for her.  I even took her out to a nice restaurant for a surf and turf.  Oh and when we played a few games of Flinch and I kept winning Mom was getting cranky.  So I said whoever wins the next round wins for the night so of course I threw the hand.  She is a sore loser and an even worse winner that loves to gloat.  I did mention that to her to remind her that she could learn to be nicer about things.

For all that she held her granddaughter she bragged to her sister how solidly she is built.  How would my mom know?  What she did notice is that Eily is a very happy baby.  She said I wasn't like that.  Gee I wonder why?  Eily is a happy baby because J and I promote a happy atmosphere for her to grow up in.  If we have a problem I tell him to go outside and I'll go outside to talk with him later.  Sometimes his work gets in the way.  Why argue around the kids like my parents did?  It only upsets them!  I don't remember how many times I went to bed with an upset stomach over my parents fighting and I mean fighting.

We won't be moving to a new duty station any time soon.  However we might be moving to a new home soon.  Looks like three apartments, bigger ones, will be available soon.  We have been given the new addresses to take a look at and decide which one we might like.  It would be nice to give Eily a bigger bedroom.  This place is so tiny and poorly laid out.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Quick Post

My Mom is coming for a visit this weekend.

Must get the apartment ready.

Everything is rather a mess due to packing things for yard sales in the process of moving.  I'll make room for mom and still find time to cook and socialize.  I found time to make her a nice gift, wrap the other gifts, do house work and make dinner last night.  I still need to shop for more groceries and bake a cake all before she shows up tomorrow night.  EEEK!!!!

Friday, May 1, 2015

Donor Egg Issues

So far we really have had a good almost 10 months with very little in the way of medical problems four Eily.  However, the pediatrician did note that we are lacking half her medical history which could cause some problems for her later in life.

This week I emailed the infertility clinic I used requesting more information on the donor I used.  I haven't heard back.  So today I called them.  I was transferred to the right person and she said she'll get the information that I need and have someone contact me as soon as possible. She did ask me if it was urgent.  I said yes.

Well Eily does have allergies.  She does have a full body rash.  It isn't going away no matter what we have applied to her.  It isn't the laundry soap.  We've been using the same type since before she was born on all her clothing and it is meant for her things.  The only other detergent used in the washer is free of all dyes and fragrances.  No fabric softeners are used on laundry.

She has been eating the same foods.  No new foods were introduced around the time the rash started.

I was told by a friend, an educated friend that also has raised children, that sometimes babies just get rashes.

This rash was so mild when we saw the doctor that he didn't even notice it.  We did report it to the nurse.  Funny thing is that even I broke out in a rash for a few days too.  No clue what caused it.  I know I have really sensitive skin too.  But Eily's skin is really bad.

We've done the Aveeno, Burt's Bees and now have moved on to coconut oil.  I make sure to take my watch off each time I change her diaper, it is a metal band and I don't want to scratch her.  By the way, the only place she doesn't have a rash is where the diaper sits on her body.  Strange?  I think so.

The cloth diapers get washed in the same load as the rest of her clothing.  Don't judge me.  I use flush-able liners on her diapers.  I switched to paper last week to use up the stash I had on hand.  She had the rash before the paper diaper switch.

Anyone have a clue what could be causing the rash?

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Need To Get This Off My Chest

Okay so we didn't go to court this week.  It has been postponed until late May.

So the nightmare are continuing.  As soon as the melatonin has worn off, of which it has stopped helping me sleep at even 10 mg a nightly dose, the terrors start.

This morning, after my husband has already left the bedroom, I woke up from a bad dream.  It was horrible.  What woke me up was reaching over and punching the person controlling me in the dream.  In real life I had reached over with my right arm and punched my husband's pillow hard.  Good thing he wasn't sleeping on it!

Yesterday morning I woke up from a bad dream calling out my brother's name.

The day before that was another bad dream.

PTSD really sucks.

I hate being a victim.

Too much bad stuff has happened to me in my life.

Molested at ages 4-8, beaten as a child, mentally abused as child and then as an adult, raped as an adult and then this crap last year with my brother.  Is it any wonder I have bad dreams?

This is the very reason why I refuse to co-sleep with my child....EVER!  If she becomes sick I'll snuggle with her in a chair and I'll stay awake.  I'm good with staying awake. I'm an insomniac that doesn't drink coffee or energy drinks.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Red Cycle

So I guess I can blog about a bit of craziness that is going on here at this installation.  It is always on-going so it really isn't anything new.  But for us it is new because it is the first time my spouse has had to do it.  Last year I was pregnant and we were new to the installation and I guess his company had already done their cycle or something?

It lasts for 30 days no make that 90 days no make that oh hell I don't know how long now because it keeps changing.  Army motto "Adapt and Overcome".  This morning I woke up knowing this:

  1. DH got a call saying his dental was being rescheduled
  2. He called and got it rescheduled at the time he was supposed to actually have been there for the appointed time that had been cancelled.
  3. He was texted that he had the day off of work.
  4. Next text said he had to come into work
  5. Next text said his leave packet was missing a signature line on it. ( Mind you this was after the place had lost his previous packet two weeks ago.  This time he put a tracking number on the packet.)
  6. He has to go to CYSS to register our child.
So no day off.  Not like I even had a chance to make any plans.  I'm still adjusting to the shift change any way.  It is a weird shift.  Eily barely gets to see him but it is better than being deployed.

His packet had better go through for his leave for next week.  We have to be in court in NC next week Wednesday as we are under SUBPEONA.  Yes this is the case where my brother assaulted me using strangulation.

He still just needs an a commander's interview for his schoolhouse packet to leave this place. Unfortunately the commander isn't here.  I really feel bad for the man.  He lost his wife recently.  But there is another person acting in his place and she'll be doing the interview instead.

If all goes well we'll probably be PCSing before this Red Cycle is finished up.

Interesting fact:
Did you know that the gelatin from the pig's bones is used as a carrier for cordite and gunpowder when making bullets?  I wonder if Islamic terrorists know that?  I mean it is cheaper to make your own bullets.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Seasonal Allergies


The whole family is on some sort of allergy medicine.

Eily is on Zyrtec.

DH is on Loratidine and Flonase.

I'm on Flonase.  Wish I could be on a allergy pill.  The meds I take right cause moderate interactions with one another and it might be a little to risky with the blood pressure meds to add in an allergy med.  I'd rather not elevate the risk to high and end up in the hospital just because I'm tired of sneezing and coughing and wheezing.

I dealt with it last year while pregnant I'll just have to deal with it this year too.